


Sometimes Squeamish Homosexual Masterminds Don't Think Their Plans Through

by Sunquistadora



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Crack, Cunnilingus, Dubious Consent, F/M, Plot What Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-06
Updated: 2011-07-06
Packaged: 2017-10-21 02:26:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/219876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunquistadora/pseuds/Sunquistadora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for a kinkmeme prompt along the lines of:<br/>Poor Molly, always falling for men who don't want her. Poor John, can't get laid.<br/>Jim figures he can kill both birds at once, AND terrorize a few innocents in the process! In the end, Moriarty is the one terrorized (by the power of cunnilingus.)</p><p>I'm pretty sure this qualifies as crack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes Squeamish Homosexual Masterminds Don't Think Their Plans Through

**Author's Note:**

> Warning/disclaimer: As a life-long lady fancying lady, I use the word cunt in positive way. I know a lot of people hate it, but I find it a lot better than basically every other euphemism for vagina I can think of. (See:  
> this chart (http://www.early2bed.com/2010/11/02/the-wonderfull-world-of-vaginal-euphemisms/) )

Jim was bored. Bored bored bored. Bored and vaguely horny in the way one gets when there is absolutely nothing else to do.  
Now was as good a time as any to torture Sherlock's pet, he supposed.

\----  
"Bollocks. Not again," thinks John blearily. The last thing he can remember is getting grabbed from behind on his way to Tesco's and that could really only mean one thing. And yes, there in the midst of John's clearing vision as he opens his eyes, is the evil mastermind (the annoying mastermind) himself. Was he really going to need to start carrying his gun every bloody time he needed to pick up milk?

John takes in his surroundings. They're in a lab, similar to the one he met Sherlock in at St Barts, though this one is obviously more deserted. John is sitting on the floor propped up against a wall.

Moriarty smiles. "Did you miss me, Johnny Boy?"

"Can't say I did."

"Oh boo. And Molls didn't either! Spoilsports."

'Molls?' He turns around, and there off to the left, behind Moriarty, is Molly, sitting on a lab table, wearing what looked like only her lab coat, and looking not a little nervous.

"Dear sweet Molls." Moriarty walks over to her and pulls the gun from behind his back, pointing it at her head.

'That would explain why she's just sitting there. ...And the lab coat.' John muses.

"Always going for the wrong man." Jim simpers.

'Well he got that right.'

"And you, Johnny. Not getting your leg-over on the home front?"

John scowls.

"So I thought I'd do what I do best and help you two." John just stares at him, and Molly is frozen to the spot, the gun still trained on her. "You're going to come over here and fuck her, or I'm going to shoot her. And I aim to kill."

Molly's eyes widen.

John's mind races. He's not armed. He's relatively sure he could get himself out, or at least he's sure he'd risk it, but he doubts he'd be able to get Molly out as well, and he can't have her death on his conscience.  
Poor girl. She was attractive and she was obviously smart, just look at her job. She really just kept chasing the wrong people.

"Well, what's it going to be, Johnny? Tick tick tick! Time's running out!"

He was just going to have to make this as easy on her as he could. There were no condoms, and he really couldn't get hard when he was about to have sex with a woman without her consent. Hopefully this would be enough to meet Moriarty's crazy standards and save Molly's life.

John pushes himself up from the floor and walks over to the lab table.

"So that's your choice? Not even going to protest like the noble, moral dog you are? Tut tut. Imagine what Sherlock would say if he found out." Moriarty moues.

John grits his teeth. Doing his best to ignore Moriarty - as much as one can ignore a madman with a gun a few feet away - he addresses Molly.

"I am sorry about this," he says softly, regretfully.

"No - it's ok. I mean, it's the better choice," Molly stammers. "You're actually rather fit," she eeks out, eyes wide.

John smiles weakly. "Thank you. Same to you."

"Chitter chatter! What is this, an ice cream social? Get on with it! "  
John spreads Molly's legs, bends, and licks the inside of her leg from her ankle to her inner thigh, up to right before her well-trimmed pubes started, where he nips, leaving a small little mark. Molly lets out a noise of surprise which turns into a moan as John moves on to licking her cunt, running his tongue along it before taking her clit into his mouth and sucking briefly.

She's actually quite wet already. She really must have a thing for danger, John thinks. It would explain a lot. Well, it wasn't like he couldn't understand.

Moriarty takes a step back - though he keeps the gun trained, John notes. "How can you put your MOUTH on that? Ew!"

John pulls back and looks up at Moriarty "Are you kidding? This is my favorite part." He locks eyes with Molly and winks.

"Really? I thought you were gay!" Molly blurts out.

John raises an eyebrow. "Bi actually, but you thought I was gay and you didn't pick up on him?!" He nods his head at 'Jim.'

Molly blushes. "I...I don't know!" (What did it matter? She had really been trying to get Sherlock's attention, and, when it came right down to it, tended to have a thing for gay men anyway.)

John laughs. Really, he shouldn't be laughing, shouldn't be this comfortable whilst kidnapped and being ordered to have sex with someone. "Here's a test then - how often did he do this with you?" Smiling, John spreads Molly's legs back open and starts caressing her again.

"NEVER! I did that NEVER because that's disgusting!" Moriarty screeches.

"Hmmm that's a shame. Your loss."

"Mine too." Molly squeaks. She's on edge from the situation, of course, but it's heightening her senses. The adrenaline is coursing through her, her normal barriers are down, and she can't quite help herself; the response just pops out.

"Oh, I should say so," John smiles into her. "Mind if I fix that for you?"

Molly shook her head, loving the way the she could feel John's voice, John's breath on her.

There is no hesitancy anymore. John circles his tongue around her cunt, dipping it in, teasing, over and over. He pulls back, breathing on the wet area, making her shiver, then dives back and strokes her cunt from bottom to top with the full wet surface of his tongue. Molly arches, squeezing her legs around him as he runs his teeth ever so gently along her, his wet bottom lip trailing/dragging along behind, a smooth chaser to the tingling ache his teeth leave.

"It's like a train wreck...only not enjoyable." Moriarty murmurs, horrified.

John's tongue makes another pass, ending with a flick that hits Molly's clit, and Molly moans loudly as John takes it into his mouth again.

Moriarty covers his ears as best he can. "La la la!"

John chuckles, sending the vibrations up into Molly. The feeling isn't particularly intense, but it makes her feel warm all over and she practically purrs underneath him.

He moves his mouth away, and she makes a little noise of protest. It quickly turns to a noise of pleasure as he runs his mouth over the now extra-sensitive area he had bitten earlier, and slides a finger inside her, curling it up.

Molly arches into him, and looks down to see him pushing another finger inside her. He moves them gloriously, spreading them and licking between them, inside her and up to her clit. He curls his fingers up again, hitting Molly's g-spot as his tongue laps at her all around his fingers, between his fingers, around again. His fingers swirling, alternating which one was stretching her, which one was hitting her g-spot in a rhythm that makes her lose her breath. Both fingers together again, rocking in and out of her, John purrs, "Do you like that? Do you like when I fuck your g-spot?"

"Y-yes!" Molly gasps. "God YES," she groans, her breath ragged as John pulls his fingers all the way out and plunges them back in at just the right angle again. "I'm... It feels"

"Are you going to come for me?"

"Yes! It feels... it feels like..."

"I know- that's ok. That's good. Don't hold back."

"Hold back! Hold back!" Moriarty screeches. "Stop it now!

John doesn't stop. Far from it. He applies his mouth to Molly, rocks his fingers inside her, one hand pressing lightly on her stomach over where his fingers hit, intensifying the feeling inside. Molly's head falls back and she comes - hard, shaking, squirting onto John and the table - with a scream of ecstasy.

John pulls back, gently bringing his fingers out, stroking Molly's leg with his free hand, and turns his head to Moriarty. "It's not polite to get a lady started and just leave her hanging, you know."

He had, in fact, been very polite, and the evidence of that is on his face and gleaming around his mouth as he stares down Moriarty.

Moriarty, who quite visibly gags. "God... how can you," he gestures around his own mouth before pulling the most comically disgusted face John has seen since the 3rd grade. "Aah!"

John brings his sticky fingers up and into to his mouth, sucking them clean. He brings his hand down and licks his lips, not breaking eye contact with Moriarty.

Moriarty turns even paler, his chest heaving. "No amount of toying with Sherlock is worth this! I'll ruin my suit if I'm sick because of you two. Just stop. For the love of god! You're free to go! Go! Just bloody stop already!" With that he rushes from the room, slamming the door behind him.

John and Molly exchange awkward glances. "Do you think he's coming back?" she asks.  
"I doubt it. Did you see how green he looked?"

"Well... if you meant what you said about not leaving a lady hanging... Do you think you could do that again?" Molly blushes.

John smiles and rejoins her on the table.

Half an hour later and Molly's getting her breath back, grinning, the table is wet, and John's fingers and tongue are worn out.

He lets out a breath. "So, want to come out for coffee with me sometime?"

Molly smiles and giggles a little bit. "You were great - I mean, really, you were great! - but if it's a date... really I... um I'd rather see you with Sherlock, truth be told! But.... if you ever did get together and maybe... she trails off.

John sighs. "Come now - you've said that much. Finish your sentence so I can hear you." He glances over at her naked on the lab table. "I think we're at that point."

She looks down at herself and laughs. "If you and Sherlock ever did get together and wanted to have a threesome, well, you wouldn't have to ask me twice!"

John laughs. "Duly noted. As friends then?"

"As friends," she returns, and lets John help her off the table and back into her lab coat.


End file.
